Are Dreams Wishes that are Hidden Deep in Our Hearts?

Well, I ain't an psychologist, so I can't guarantee you about it nor am I willing to google about it but dreams were like a clairvoyance to me a few months back, or a few years ago, it started although recently, it rarely happened. The nature of it has somewhat changed. In the past few years, in some cases of my dream, whatever I dreamed will sometimes happen in reality. When it happens, it becomes sort of like a deja vu and I always had the thought "Didn't this happen somewhere before?" and realized that it was in my dream. While some aren't that vivid, there were certain lines said by some ppl in my dream that realized in our physical world. It's bizarre and at the start, one might think that this is convenient but out of so many dreams, you won't know which will happen. Probability? Less than 5% I believe.

Speaking of the altered nature, there were times I have dreams that continue successively on different nights (like a drama or series) or repeated dreams, as in, the background scene and surrounding, etc. might be different but the person who appears and the things that happen were roughly the same. This morning, I had a dream of this girl who I probably still have feelings for, even I myself am not sure about it. It probably started after our break up and speaking of the break up, it was obviously because I didn't give the effort to find and spend my time with her, even on phone. While she is lovely girl, I do think that it was my inexperience and lack of knowledge about girl's feelings that brought that relationship to an end especially the breakup where I didn't handle it well at all, lol. Thinking of it, it was a foolish way of ending it, as if I'm so confident with my decision. It sounded mutual but it wasn't much of a mutual thingy after that. Regardless, that relationship taught me many stuffs although even now, one would think that the price of this lesson was far too heavy to bear. A few months after that, (probably not a few, lol), I got over it and was leading my usual life. Obviously it can't be helped that you'll constantly try to brainwash yourself thinking that it's the best decision because you won't be able to provide her the best romance life she'll get or there will be someone will be able to give her more happiness or as long as she's happy, it should be fine for you.

Actually, I do think that she has a gift though. She's able to naturally realize what are the most important things in life and appreciate them well. All the small happiness that she constantly speaks of are in truth, the everlasting happiness that we can gain although human have the propensity to chase after wealth and fame, speak of wanting to save the world, the ego of wanting to be the best and the list goes on. While mine is slightly different, it's still in the list although I made the decision to spend more time with my family and friends. Family is harder though because in my family, we communicate less, more like the normal modern family that are increasing today. We do worry and care for each other, it's just that there are nothing to talk about on normal occasions or we assume that everything is fine when the truth could be far apart from it (probably not for my case though). Even just by this, the upbringing of the both of us are pretty different and probably that explains how she seems to have the talent to cherish important things, truly important things.
Me, I have to learn by experience, probably lots of it because I am somehow oblivious to such stuffs and someone has to tell or teach me on how to do it or I have to realize it by chance (chance, yeah right). Doing it is actually simple but doing it forever will be a harsh test but I do believe that it's vital. Otherwise, more lovely girls will be the victim of ppl like my past self. Aiseh, talk as if I've changed completely.

Damn, what did I want to talk about? Oh yup, these thoughts and memories itself, despite it should've been a past, there are occasions where I'll dream of reconciling with her and after so many years, this morning was like the 4th? 5th? time and the weirdest part is remembering that I reassured myself that that dream wasn't a dream and was relieved by that "fact". Turned out it was a dream after all, lolol. Realizing that I was actually relieved by it, it somewhat tells me that I still have feelings for her, perhaps? Frankly, seeing her leading a healthy and happy is life is all I could wish for but if I have the chance to get back with her, fuhhh, I will love someone like I didn't before weh but that itself sounds like a dream. Well, shouldn't wish for more though, just make her days happier when I have the chance to will be good enough for me.

In conclusion, I don't think there is any conclusion but writing this helps me clarify my thoughts and straighten my objectives.